Found on the net…

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by

in

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who canโ€™t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
Itโ€™s one of those โ€œevolutionary thingsโ€ that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with โ€œA man once told meโ€ฆโ€
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How do you fix a womanโ€™s watch?
You donโ€™t. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women canโ€™t shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. Heโ€™ll shut up once you let him in.
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Whatโ€™s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who wonโ€™t do what sheโ€™s told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didnโ€™t know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a womanโ€™s sex drive by 90%.
Itโ€™s called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth !